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Marriage

The other night I was laying in bed and I had a moment of clarity. You know, those moments where you take a step back and realize how amazing your life is at this very moment in time. I'm constantly going a million miles a minute in my every day life and I rarely have those moments of reflection. 

But, when I did,  it dawned on me.  What an amazing thing I have. To live with someone every single day who I countdown the minutes until I see again. To have someone to share my bed and my embarrassing moments with. 

This is what it is to be married. 

To exchange knowing looks across a crowd full of people. To argue over how the toilet paper roll should be put on.  To learn a new recipe because I found it on her Pinterest. To wait for her before I watch the new episode on Netflix.  To stand up for her. To ask her to play with my hair. To get mad at her. For her to be annoyed with me. To see her first thing in the morning and last at night. To wonder where we are going on our next adventu…
Recent posts

New Year's Diet

The new year is here and with it comes new diets and new workout plans. Starting a new year is a fantastic time to begin anew, make yourself and your health # 1. The only problem is it's a time when I see so many people get sucked into the fad diet trap. January 1 is here and you feel like by January 10th you should be down 20 pounds and running a marathon. Please let me be clear.... that's not going to happen!
Let me say that again, weight loss and fitness takes time. A SHIT TON of time! 
How much is a shit ton? More than some wacky diet or bizarre fitness plan. There isn't a single sustainable diet that is going to magically make you drop 50 pounds in a month, or a pill that suddenly turns your body into a fat burning machine. You know what does work? Blood, sweat and fucking tears. Waking up early, skipping a potluck to workout during work, eating the green stuff, sacrificing and then doing it all over again the next day. It's a lifestyle change. There is nothing q…

Coal Mine Tour

Can I tell you how amazing my wife is? I know I have said it a million times in a million different ways but I am, as usual, completely in awe. Over my holiday break I got to do something not a lot of people get to do, I took a walk in my wife's shoes...well boots actually.

My wife is a coal miner. A bad-ass, hardworking coal miner.

Just to fill you in, when Loretta Lynn sang her song about a coal miners daughter, she was talking about me. My dad, grandpa and uncles were all coal miners; so I have been raised with a hearty respect for the work they do and the lives they live. The hours are long, the schedules are crazy and the work is back breaking. But until recently, I had never seen what life underground was like until I got to tour the coal mine where my wife works. What an unbelievable experience.

In order to be able to even step foot on the elevator that drops you hundreds of feet below the earth; I had to complete an hour of hazard training. "Hazard training" was…

In Good times and Bad.....

Six months in, amidst the busy chaos of our lives I find myself thinking back to this summer when we were road tripping through a foreign country with nothing but sight seeing on the agenda. I long to have completely full days of her and I. But, like all good things the honeymoon had to come to an end. I have always read the first year of marriage is the hardest. Together, you work on finding a rhythm and finding your place in their world. The first year is a balancing act and I have learned a few things so far I thought I would share..

Communication is essential. There have been numerous times after the fact,  when I thought she was thinking one thing and she thought I was thinking another, only to find out we were both completely wrong. I learned it takes work to have an open line of communication and isn't always easy.

Expectations are different. Marriage therapist Jill Whitney says, "getting married is like going on a picnic where you each bring a basket that was packed by …

I am enough

Trying to find your self worth in the eyes of another is setting yourself up for severe disappointment. Being a people pleaser I know this more than anyone.

During yoga last night I was instructed to look inward, to close my eyes and only see myself. To look inward toward myself for satisfaction.  I spent the entire hour with my eyes closed just doing what felt right in my body and not trying to compete with the girl on the mat next to me. That simple choice to keep my eyes closed and look inward was incredibly awakening. It inspired me.

Now a days, there are so many ways to compare ourselves to others. Television and social media being the major avenues. I don't think its terrible to compete or having a desire to better yourself but, I think somewhere along the lines of ambition and aspiration, we stop really examining ourselves and finding what's best for ourselves. Looking inward gets forgotten somewhere along the way.

But, last night, I spent the time on my mat reflecting…

In the thick of it....

How did I get to this place?
Here I am, the day of my Family Court, about to go in front of a Judge to decide how often my children should see me. I'm terrified and my heart is breaking.
The whole thing absolutely blows my mind. Mine and my kid's future is being decided by a man who knows nothing about my children or the circumstances that led us here. Never would I have imagined when I saw their little faces for the very first time that I would end up in court years later fighting to see them every second I possibly can. I don't blame the Judge, he is a good man given limited information trying to do what's best for kids. Family court is absolutely necessary.
But, however inappropriate, I want to go into court asking where was their father when I was up feeding them at 3 AM, or trying to sooth my oldest who had colic. Where was their father when I was going on day 2 with 1 hour of sleep and trying to hold everything together? Where was he when I was cleaning up puke …

Real

"Marriage is not about religion.
Atheists get married.
Marriage is not about reproduction.
The infertile get married.
Marriage is about love. That's it.
And that all by itself is beautiful."
-Unknown

With all the talk going on about marriage equality in Australia, I thought it was time to talk about and maybe even open a discussion about gay marriage. Lucky for me, and my wife it is recognized in America. But, I have mentioned my upbringing in the past, and the fact that I was raised to believe marriage is between a man and a woman. Little did I realize, when hearing these things, that I would find myself deeply in love and married to a woman when I grew up. Falling in love with someone from the same sex, really puts a dent in those childhood teachings. Regardless, even when I am told as an adult, by family, that my marriage isn't real that doesn't change the fact that I love my wife to the very depths of my soul. It doesn't change the fact that I sought happ…