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I am enough

Trying to find your self worth in the eyes of another is setting yourself up for severe disappointment. Being a people pleaser I know this more than anyone.

During yoga last night I was instructed to look inward, to close my eyes and only see myself. To look inward toward myself for satisfaction.  I spent the entire hour with my eyes closed just doing what felt right in my body and not trying to compete with the girl on the mat next to me. That simple choice to keep my eyes closed and look inward was incredibly awakening. It inspired me.

Now a days, there are so many ways to compare ourselves to others. Television and social media being the major avenues. I don't think its terrible to compete or having a desire to better yourself but, I think somewhere along the lines of ambition and aspiration, we stop really examining ourselves and finding what's best for ourselves. Looking inward gets forgotten somewhere along the way.

But, last night, I spent the time on my mat reflecting…
Recent posts

In the thick of it....

How did I get to this place?
Here I am, the day of my Family Court, about to go in front of a Judge to decide how often my children should see me. I'm terrified and my heart is breaking.
The whole thing absolutely blows my mind. Mine and my kid's future is being decided by a man who knows nothing about my children or the circumstances that led us here. Never would I have imagined when I saw their little faces for the very first time that I would end up in court years later fighting to see them every second I possibly can. I don't blame the Judge, he is a good man given limited information trying to do what's best for kids. Family court is absolutely necessary.
But, however inappropriate, I want to go into court asking where was their father when I was up feeding them at 3 AM, or trying to sooth my oldest who had colic. Where was their father when I was going on day 2 with 1 hour of sleep and trying to hold everything together? Where was he when I was cleaning up puke …


"Marriage is not about religion.
Atheists get married.
Marriage is not about reproduction.
The infertile get married.
Marriage is about love. That's it.
And that all by itself is beautiful."

With all the talk going on about marriage equality in Australia, I thought it was time to talk about and maybe even open a discussion about gay marriage. Lucky for me, and my wife it is recognized in America. But, I have mentioned my upbringing in the past, and the fact that I was raised to believe marriage is between a man and a woman. Little did I realize, when hearing these things, that I would find myself deeply in love and married to a woman when I grew up. Falling in love with someone from the same sex, really puts a dent in those childhood teachings. Regardless, even when I am told as an adult, by family, that my marriage isn't real that doesn't change the fact that I love my wife to the very depths of my soul. It doesn't change the fact that I sought happ…

Our Story.. My version

So, as I was writing a submission for a wedding publication, I thought I would share it with you guys as well. So, here is our story......

"Our love story started with a meeting that would change both our lives. I was new in town and didn't know a soul. I met Jackie through a guy I was with at the time. I was in my 30s with two kids. I had never been in a relationship with a woman. I had spent my entire adult life married to a man. But, the day I met her, I swear lightning struck. We went from strangers, to acquaintances, to friends, within no time. The more I got to know her the more I couldn't get enough of her. Fast forward through some really messy and awful breaks ups in both our lives, we thought we would give it a whirl. I was pretty clueless when it came to dating anyone, much less a woman. But I jumped in with both feet.  I was head over heels and I fumbled my way through the first days of our relationship completely inexperienced. But, I would spend the rest of m…

First isn't always the best

Divorce is an ugly and catastrophic personal experience. In the thick of divorce, you get a glimpse behind the curtain and see people's true selves. If you have been there, you know the destruction two people can do to one another. But despite the tears and screaming matches, you can survive divorce and actually find happiness. You have to find a way to let go of the past and move forward; learning from what you have been through. The next relationship will be scary, the possibility of finding a happily ever after will be dismal. But you will. Finding happiness is worth the risk of letting someone in.
I have had conversations with people who survived divorce, and most say they would never do it again. They would never put themselves through that again. How incredibly sad. Since, I have withstood divorce and came out on the other side, I thought I would give you a few reasons why you shouldn’t give up on love or marriage after divorce.
Here are 8 reasons your second marriage is b…

Blessed are the meek

I can remember as a child, going to bible school at church and hearing the Beatitudes. I can hardly remember any of them but one has always stayed with me, "blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth".


Coming from someone who has been cursed with meekness, this is a complete load of poo. Being meek is what I have fought my life to overcome. You see, I have a natural disposition to make people happy. I want to please everyone and will do this to my demise. Every relationship in my life has been this way. But, if there is one thing that has come out of this god awful divorce, it's the fact that I am learning how to put my meekness aside and be more assertive. This fight that has been going on for the last year over child support, custody and parenting plans has completely zapped the little angel that sat on my shoulder. Pretty sure the little red horned guy gave her the boot once I paid the retainer for my attorney. No matter how much I try to compromise …

First Ultra Marathon Recap

I am the kind of person who enjoys pushing limits. I have slowly through the years set goals and completed them only to turn around and set another bigger goal. This year my goal was to finish an ultra. For those of you who don't know an ultra marathon is any race past the 26.2 mile marathon distance. I have been training and trying since January to complete this goal. It has been a tough year physically and mentally for me and running. After being pulled and getting a big fat DNF in Iceland, I went into my 40 miler this weekend completely terrified. I didn't know if I could do it, I didn't know if I was ready and I was so afraid  I would fail again. The mental monsters that invade after not finishing something you work so hard for are hard to explain to anyone who hasn't been there. To sum it up, I put a lot of pressure on myself.

My training for this race has honestly not been the best, life got in the way big time. I missed far too many long runs and even some weekl…